Which of the four has just farted?
The band and Cattle. From Santa Cruz, California, a quartet tours in local bars, except that the King of Melody Johnny Lima decided to make (badly) the two albums and write (well) part choruses. Impact and melodies with alternating current, but we can do on stage (at Rocklahoma this year they played five shows in three days, and there were 50 other bands ... maybe recommended, but not unable): guitarist everything Hispanic riffs and plastic poses, LA Guns bassist with low bulk vintage tattoos, drummer lungocrinito-wrestler who could also do with it some.
The singer has shown many things. Has shown that he can play football, which has a prison tattoo, which has the hair and also the bandana and even the trucker cap. Has not demonstrated, however, able to sing. Since I will not settle and choruses written by Johnny Lima want them made perfect and tune, one of two things: either learn to sing or pass the baton to others and is content to stay at the merchandising stand.
Concert starts absurd, with the drummer who loses immediately to force a rod to beat, messed up vocals, guitar solo that starts with nonsense and, on the fish such as aspartame, a voice worthy of Donald Duck pissed ( Udo or relaxed). With the second piece, the band recovers his senses and does not stop until the end. The singer instead continues with the imitation of the duck.
I Toxic Heart from Slovenia potrebbero essere i Bon Jovi slavi: ottima perizia strumentale, abbigliamento da dimenticare, qualche ritornello memorabile e la sensazione che servirebbe una rettoscopia per rimuovere le scope dal culo. In effetti l'atteggiamento da “band di paese alla sagra” non serve a nessuno e l'Hard Rock vuole gente arrogante e sborona, no boy-scout.
I cinque fans sloveni dei Toxic Heart escono prepotentemente dal Moskow Peace Festival del 1986. Capelli cotonati sfibratissimi e bicolorati artigianalmente, jeans a vita alta da paninari, chiodi XL (come quelli che si trovavano di contrabbando nell'URSS di Kruschev) o giacche jeans dell'Oviesse Slovena. Un paio tentano goffi approcci verso qualche donna italica, ma non parlano inglese e comunque l'aspetto li squalifica a vita: inevitabile il ripiego sull'alcol. Consumo alcolico sopra la media, tasso di svenimento tutto sommato modesto.
C'è stato anche un valido gruppo pop-punk da Padova. Pose rock e boiate a profusione, ma il genere non si può sentire. Il Bonny si entusiasma, compra copie del loro singolo e poi cerca di regalarle in giro credendo di fare gradito omaggio: ne avesse trovato uno che ha accettato il dono. E questo dice molto di più di qualunque altro giudizio personale.
Il fenomeno della serata : English forties with shoes, corduroy pants, oversized leather jacket made in Taiwan, T-shirt placed in the category Despair & Related, baseball cap and leather gloves. Obviously bald. Look dead pussy, but dangerous ones, who in moments of despair might even get to harass the sheep. He lives with his mother (or better yet, with mother's corpse in a refrigerator). He closes his room to mimic the solos Tipton / Downing and kill with YouPorn. Constant presence at comic shops, preferences for Japanese stuff incestuous stories and giant robots.
favorite move of the evening: 1. solo mime sitting on two stools at the same time, 2. forward to below the stage and then give back to the band to throw around looks dangerous 3. hiding behind a pillar and run looks dangerous 4. look with satisfaction the glove leather, worn without the knowledge of her mother, 5. go crazy on "Rock You Like a Hurricane" with combo solo twirl + + look dangerous and determine the women as a junkie in front of a dose.
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